MY ANOSMATIC LIFE

In Part II of the Q&A with Yazmin, the Creator of The Girl Who Can’t Smell and podcast The Girl Who Can’t Smell Show, we’re discussing the impact of anosmia on Yazmin’s life, the invisible disability, the future of anosmia awareness, and more. If you’re just reading this, check out Part I here.

S: What’s one of the biggest impacts anosmia has had on your life?

Y: I think seeing the world in such a unique way. I feel like I’ve been more present. I’m more aware of my surroundings. I feel like I have to scan a room, especially when I travel. I love staying at Airbnbs versus hotels because I love that local living experience but also the price. (laughs) The number one thing I have to check for is if the place has a gas stove or electronic appliances. I tend to prefer places that have electrical appliances. That way I feel safer brewing a cup of coffee or something and just being able to heat up food. These are the little things that impact my decisions. Most people ask “What are you talking about?” “What do you mean you prefer electrical appliances versus gas stoves?” I also have to check if there are numerous smoke alarms in the Airbnb because I’m paranoid. I need to know that I’m going to be safe. I love adventure but I don’t want to be too adventurous where I put myself in danger.

S: Right! I’ve looked up stuff on Airbnb and I did notice that they tell whether or not they have carbon monoxide detectors. It’s so good that they do because that could make a huge difference.

Y: Exactly! I have to message the owners sometimes just to double check because I get a little bit too paranoid sometimes. But because I love to travel, like I said, and I’m the one who usually plans out the itinerary and stuff, it’s just one simple detail that I always look into — just the little things like that. Other ways that it’s affected me — I feel like I’ve been a little too reserved. I think if I had my sense of smell, maybe I’d be or I would’ve been…because now I have found people that are like me. I’m so excited and happy. I feel like I can relate to others and socialize better. I think it took a little of a toll on my social ways of relating to others growing up. So, I’ve been slowly overcoming that and it helps with creating videos. I dislike being on camera but I have to do it for myself. I’ve overcome this fear that I have, but it’s so good. That’s why I feel like I’ve fallen so much on my humor. I love to make others laugh. So, if something weird happens like an embarrassing situation, I’ll go ahead and talk to people about it. Like, I have no shame anymore. I’m going to share with people the funny and embarrassing things that happen because you can’t smell or I can’t smell either. It’s great! I think that’s one of the great things I’ve gained because of my anosmia.

S: That’s good. I think humor helps us out tremendously because it’s so serious. It feels better getting it out there. As you said, you met more people. Knowing that there’s more people out there and sharing what you’re going through is important. 

Y: I was so excited when I found your blog. I was like “Oh my God, there’s someone else.” I have to reach out to Sharika.

S: Oh, you too. You’re seriously hilarious. (laughs)

Y: (Laughs) I feel like I go overboard sometimes. But I’m like “You know what, that’s just my personality..I’m weird.”

S: I don’t think it’s overboard at all. I love your humor. It takes a serious situation and shows that there’s a funny side to it. It’s funny but not funny. There’s some really crazy moments people won’t ever imagine that only we can tell. Your videos, the writing, everything…it cracks me up. What made you finally create The Girl Who Can’t Smell? 

Y: Oh my God! It was one of those low points in my life where I had a really bad day. I felt so sad and depressed. I don’t even know what happened that day but I was like “You know what I’m tired of not telling people that I can’t smell.” I’m gonna go ahead and google if there are other people who can’t smell and are also like me. I didn’t really find a lot of things. I think I just found one blog and then more science and medical papers on it. But exactly when I figured out the exact medical term, I was like “Anosmia what? Okay, I guess that’s what I have right.” There was no one really talking about this condition. So, I’m just going to go ahead and create a blog. I love writing any ways. That’s kind of how I like to express myself through my writing. And I was like “Why not?” Then that’s when the idea occurred to me. Maybe I can connect with other people who also can’t smell. I think that would be neat if I get to talk to more people. That way I don’t feel so lonely, isolated, or odd. Thankfully, it’s been such a great experience figuring out that there are others like me. It just makes me feel so included and so relieved to know that I’m not the only one because I used to believe in my head that I was the only person who couldn’t smell.

S: That’s how it feels because you’re surrounded by so many people who can smell and they don’t understand what we’re experiencing, especially inside. It can be lonely.

Y: Yes, it’s very lonely. And I think going back to that one question that you asked why anosmia isn’t as discussed as it should be. I think it goes back to you feeling so misunderstood. Like, “Why even bother when people are going to be like, huh?” They’re going to have a big question mark on their face and you are like “What are you talking about?” And then you are like “Ok, well I guess I can’t relate to you and you’re not very interested in my condition. I’ll just keep quiet about it then.” I think that’s the biggest factor, right? It’s just weird. A lot of people, unfortunately, only think about their perspective in life. But thankfully there are a lot of people who like to think about what other lives are like. I think that’s kind of what I wanted to express with my blog and be like, “You know what? You want to learn what it’s like to be different, to not have that ability to detect a natural environment the same way you do, just go ahead and read about it on my blog.” It’s mainly for people who can smell and for those who can’t. I want it to be a place where people can learn more about it and then see that firsthand testimonial that I can bring because I don’t really provide a lot of the scientific information about it. I’m not going to go into the scientific stuff. It’s not my forte…more about the funny things that happen — that’s my forte. I will definitely deliver on that for everyone. (laughs)

S: Yes, because you’re writing about your experience and that’s what’s important. It’s not for the facts. Our blogs are about our experience and that’s what makes them so unique and important to tell. We’re both just here to let you know what it’s been like for us living with it. That’s what’s so important. Why don’t you think this invisible disability isn’t discussed often?

Y: I think one of the major factors is that the reactions that we get from people, we don’t want to feel like an odd person. You don’t want to seem like an alien.

S: That’s what it feels like.

Y: Yea. (laughs) It feels like the odd person out so you keep it as a secret. I kept it as a secret for the longest time. I acted like I could smell when I was growing up and just didn’t want to seem like I was that weird person that had a weird trait. But then I started embracing it. This was actually something that happened recently, like three and a half years when I started the blog that I have. I wanted to go ahead and find out if there were other people like me because I was tired of feeling like I was the only person in the world who can’t smell. It was such an alienated experience for me because I felt like I could never be myself 100%. And if I told people that they would see me very differently. I felt that it would lead to people mocking me or being dismissive about it because a lot of people say, “Oh you’re so lucky you can’t smell.” I’m like what do you mean I’m lucky you can’t smell. They go off and say there’s more bad scents and pleasant ones. “I’m like thank you for pointing that out, I guess but it doesn’t necessarily make me feel better.”

S: No, it’s so offensive. That whole “You’re lucky you can’t smell this” is the worst thing you can tell us. That does not feel good at all. Like “Ouch…um, OK.”

Y: Yea, it is kind of like toxic positivity. People want to make it a positive thing. I know they mean well, but it’s just not really what you would want to say to someone. So, I can go on and talk to those people more about how that statement makes me feel but then it’s going to take a whole conversation to switch that. I’ve had the energy some days to do it but then some other days I’m not going there. Like, thanks for the support, I guess. (laughs)

S: Honestly, I’ve never wasted my breath. When someone says that I’m like “OK” or just give them a stare. Instead, I think to myself, “Did they really just say that to me” because you hear it so often. It’s very common.

Y: Yea, it’s very dismissive. Right?

S: Very. That’s how I feel with anosmia sometimes. The people who know that we have it, they are kind of dismissive because they’re so forgetful that we have it. They have to be mindful. If this were another disability, like if we couldn’t see or hear, they would totally treat us different. They would remember that. But for some reason because it’s smell, we get “Oh my gosh, you’re so lucky you can’t smell.” It is crazy!

Y: I totally agree with you. That’s what kind of makes you feel like you’re more isolated if you allow it, right? But growing up sometimes you don’t know better and you’ll take all that feedback from other people too personal. I think you need to learn that lesson that if you don’t take things that people say to you too personal, then you’ll be leading a more fulfilling life. But obviously when you’re young, your self esteem comes to play based on how other people see you—that forms your personal narrative sometimes and you have to be really careful. I think that if I had some type of resource growing up that made me feel like I wasn’t different, I would’ve had a better experience relating to other people and just opening up more.

S: Right. Let’s go back to the invisible disability and discuss anosmia. Why do you think it’s not a recognized disability? 

Y: First of all, it’s so unfair because we are lacking one our senses. That should be labeled as an official disability. I think it comes from the fact that there isn’t that much research or there wasn’t as much before. Now there’s the Fifth Sense charity in the UK and then the Monell Center. They are making a little more lead way into creating more awareness and helping the scientific community by telling them “Hey there needs to be more research in the olfactory sense and that has to be brought more to the scientific awareness community because we exist and we need our stories to be told.” We need more information about how not having our sense of smell might affect this…I don’t know if there’s a way that just works our brain. There’s something that might create some type of hazard. We need to know all of those answers because there’s so many questions that we don’t know with the specific statistics…those aren’t even provided. They can’t be guaranteed in the science. We need more information. It all starts from the research. Once we have that credibility to say this is how anosmia affects individuals. Then, it will be recognized. We might be able to have some type of symbol on our ID card or something—  an indication for HR (human resources) so we feel more comfortable telling our workplaces “Hey, I can’t smell. So don’t leave me in charge in case there’s a gas leak, emergency, or something.” One time I do remember the cleaning crew overnight at our office where I used to work. There was a strong smell chemical that they used to clean up the whole workplace carpet and I wasn’t able to detect it but everyone would come into the office (fanning face) like “Whoa, whoa, what is that smell…? Omg, I can’t even breathe in here. You need to be outside.” Like there weren’t any open windows in that building. I was stuck in there because I would work admin duties and be the only one there thinking everything was fine. I don’t know how those chemicals might have affected my lungs or something. Obviously, I was so unaware of that whole situation. If there were research on those it affects, people would take what I’m going through, my condition, more seriously. I feel like maybe my supervisor was like “Oh, she can’t smell let’s go ahead and leave her in charge of it?”

S: That’s just wrong!

Y: Exactly. So, I felt kind of like “Wait a minute” later on and then the next day I remember that I called out. (laughs) I felt maybe I need to recuperate my lungs or something because I was feeling very sick that day and I didn’t understand why.

S: Oh my goodness. That’s scary.

Y: It is. I’ve read forums where people asked “Do you think anosmia is a disability?” A lot of people tend to say, “It’s not a disability,” “You’re not going to get a parking space,” ‘You know it’s not designated for you,” “It does’t affect you that much or it’s not that big of deal.” There goes those dismissive comments all over again. Right? If I have a disability that doesn’t necessarily mean I want that parking space…the placard. I don’t want that. I just want it to be recognized. That’s all I want. I don’t want to cheat you out of handicap spaces. It’s not the same thing.

S: A parking placard is the last thing I’m going to ask for. It’s the recognition I’d like. What is it going to take to get that recognition? That’s what I want to know. 

Y: Don’t you find it so interesting that it’s the first thing people think of? “If you have a disability, You’re automatically handicap physically in that sense,” “You have to be in a wheelchair or something.” I think that’s where unfortunately people don’t realize anosmia is an invisible disability. Because it’s invisible, it exists still. We don’t have to be in a wheelchair to be given that.

S: I find that part to be just straight ignorance because you’re not seeing that from our prospective, honestly. That’s really what it is…miseducation. You’re not seeing it. You’re just familiar with the disabilities you’re more aware of like people being blind and deaf. These are the disabilities you hear about more. We don’t hear about anosmia a lot. It’s there. But because people don’t hear about it often, we get “You’re not disabled.” We’re missing a sense that’s very important. We’re getting through life even though we can’t smell but we are still short of a sense. Therefore, it feels like a sense of hindrance to experience and detect stuff that we need to be experiencing. It’s just hard for people to see it that way for some reason.

Y: Exactly! In my case, I didn’t even know that sense existed. How am I going to navigate this world with this thing called scent that I’m totally unaware of? It’s just a very different way of figuring out how to live. How would I know that I smell bad and that it would make people uncomfortable? Where in my imagination would I have thought that it was even a thing. Going through that experience, it’s a lot of trial and error.

S: It is. What do you envision for anosmia awareness in like five years? Like, what do you want to see happen?

Y: I would love for it to be more mainstream, like a mainstream topic where people are aware that the condition exists. Where their reaction if someone were to tell them “Hey, I can’t smell,” they automatically know how to react appropriately. I want anosmia to at least be discussed in school, like in the education system. It should at least be mentioned in the senses when children have those sense lessons. At least say, “Hey you don’t have your sense of smell, that’s called anosmia.” That’s all I want. I want people to know that it exists. I do see that becoming a reality. I know that we as anosmics have the power to raise that awareness. I think you’re doing an awesome job, like everyone else that i’m meeting in this community. I think discussing it helps so much. It helps it and it’s going to grow. The numbers are going to continue to grow as far as awareness goes. I’m very hopeful for the future.

S: I definitely imagine more awareness. People are talking about it more. Some are starting to understand what they have. It took research and looking up stuff for me to learn the term anosmia. The first step is figuring out the name. Once people know what they’re actually experiencing and put a name to it, there will definitely be more awareness and people discussing it to go on record.

Y: Absolutely! It is great because there are a couple of celebrities that can’t smell like Perrie Edwards from Little Mix. Jason Sudeikis told a couple of hosts that he couldn’t smell. It becomes something that’s known and gives that extra push for awareness to see that there are people out there that can’t smell and that’s great.

S: I totally agree. The more people, the better for sure with the way it’s coming out in all forms. Is there anything else you would like to share?

Y: I had such a blast discussing this condition with you. I feel like it is such a relief every time I get to talk to someone about anosmia and I feel understood. That’s one of the best things. So, thank you for connecting with me. I’m just so happy and positive that things are going to get better for us and we’ll get that recognition from society, finally.

S: I’m excited too! Of course. Thank you. What else are you working on?

Y: Right now, I want to produce a children’s book. That’s next on my list. I want to get to that demographic where we can teach kids at a young age that “If you have anosmia and no sense of smell, that it’s alright. Don’t feel left out and that you’re the odd kid. Embrace it. There’s nothing wrong with you.” I used to feel like I never learned how to smell and that it was my fault. Those are the types of things you think as a kid to rationalize “I can’t smell. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” If I can spare one young soul from that type of experience, that’s mainly what I want to go out and do.

To learn more about Yazmin and her efforts to raise anosmia awareness, check out her amazing content with a twist of humor at The Girl Who Can’t Smell and the platforms below.

YouTube Girl Who Can’t Smell

Facebook @girlwhocantsmell

Twitter @girlwhocantsmell

Instagram @girlwhocantsmell