MY ANOSMATIC LIFE

After living with anosmia for 11 years, you can’t help but laugh at the things you experience sometimes. But there have been times when I just wanted to cry about it.

Here are 10 things I strongly dislike about anosmia:

1. Being unable to detect odors or dangerous smells. I wouldn’t know if something was on fire until I actually saw it or someone screamed “FIRE.”  Seriously.  By the grace of God, I survived a gas leak at a former apartment. Since I’m unable to do sniff tests, I have to pay extra special attention to the “Use By” dates on items, what it look like, and how many days I’ve had the food in the refrigerator. For example, I constantly forget when I open my Almond milk and usually end up having to just throw it away. 🙄 I don’t do taste tests because, well, my taste isn’t so accurate.

2. Being unable to smell myself. I’m pretty confident that I smell good when I leave the house…haven’t heard a complaint. But I hate that I’m not 100% sure as the day goes by. I’m not interested in talking to people while working out at the gym, especially if I don’t know you. I have no clue whether I’m musky or not post-workout since I definitely use fragrance-free deodorant.  It’s really the only time I’m anti-social, which is so not me. But I do smile back and carry on. 🙂

3. I’m the worst guesstimater.  For example, I hate when people ask me what I’m wearing because of #2.  It leaves me to guesstimate what they smell and it frustrates the crap out of me. 99% of the time, someone smells either my Shea butter, coconut oil, rose spray, some essential oil mix, or my oil hair spray. I’ll say it’s my shea butter and they’ll say “No, I’m smelling ____.” Ugh, I can’t stand it! But I appreciate the compliments. Please just tell me I smell good and leave it alone, cause you’re asking something I can’t accurately answer and it makes me feel some type of way.

4. Not being able to pick out my own smell-good products without some assistance. Since I became an anosmic, I rely heavily on Google and everyone else’s nose. I will find something that sounds good and literally stand in the aisle and Google reviews for a while. One time I took my brothers to Victoria’s Secret with me to smell new body sprays and, of course, I purchased the ones they chose. My mother used to purchase new perfume for me every Christmas, but I would pick it out by googling the top perfumes of the year and she’d smell them to pick one. I so appreciate my family for this, but can’t wait for when I can pick something without virtual or someone’s assistance.

5. Anosmia makes me a little dependent. I hate it because I’m actually an independent person with a keen sense of smell. Now, I’m independent, sort of dependent, with no sense of smell. It’s like I’m forced to depend on others to identify smells for me. Imagine how many times I ask, “Is this good?” or “How does this smell?” I’m over here feeling like a broken record. For 10 years, I depended on my doctor’s temporary solutions but gave up. Now, I’m depending on these weekly allergy shots to possibly make a difference.

6. Not being able to taste my own creations in the kitchen. I love to cook! I really love to make smoothies and juices that everyone loves who’s tried them. But I can barely taste them. It bugs me when I make something that tastes just OK to me, but when someone else tries it, they’re like “Wow, this is good!” Yeah, I’d like that exact full effect as well.

7. Being the center of my own pity party. Yes, it does suck to be me at times.  I wrote about how people should stop saying that, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t think about it. I fall for my own pity party when someone asks me about my lack of smell and then people actually join in.  I’ll start feeling sorry for myself while I’m cooking because my food looks so amazing and I try to imagine what it smells like and what it really tastes like. I usually have a pity party when I’m around food or shopping for smell goodies. Like, it’s not fair but life sure isn’t…ugh.

8. Anosmia can be depressing at times. Can someone please pop this bubble I feel trapped in? Sometimes, it makes me feel sad when someone says “That smells good.” Even more when someone asks “Do you smell that?” I miss out on a lot of “smell” moments. I want to say something stinks too! So yeah, it makes me feel sad, especially when I hear comments described in my previous post “5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to an Anosmic.” Don’t even get me started when I try to envision my future. I’ve totally been trying to practice being more present. Which leads to #9.

9. Anosmia makes me anxious. I worry about whether I’ll be able to smell again, and what I will or will not be able to smell in the future. I get anxious when I try new methods like this ridiculousness in hopes of them working and then when they don’t #8. If only you knew the scenarios that I imagined in my head.

10. Anosmia creates health issues. I didn’t lose interest in food after anosmia. Instead, I gained weight (30 lbs) for the love of food that I barely taste and #8. Five years ago, I had to get my gallbladder removed because I developed gallstones. Also, I tend to overseason my plate of food with salt (fully aware) and was actually diagnosed with High Blood Pressure a while back, but got rid of it in 2015 when I lost weight. Oh, and then I had GERD (Acid Reflux)…axed that too.

Despite this list, I’m thankful to wake up and see another day. For all the annoyance and inconvenience anosmia brings, it sure does teach you to appreciate people and things more.