MY ANOSMATIC LIFE

…there was a single woman who lived in an apartment that had a GAS LEAK but had no clue. That woman was me!

In December 2012, I moved into my first solo apartment in Washington DC. It was everything I wanted, except no A/C…one bedroom…original hardwood floors…no freaking carpet…ample closet space…ALL utilities are INCLUDED, except electricity. I thought I was living large and in charge.

Winter was brutally cold but well…gotta love that gas heat. I had no complaints. Heck, even spring was great and I was still sprung in my apartment, except when those darn cockroaches started popping up…city life, old buildings, dirty neighbors…it wasn’t me. Summer was a blur, but I remember adopting my pretty dog, Lala. Fall rolled around and sh*t (excuse my French) started going left. My plants started dying…I thought maybe they were just being overwatered or underwatered during the many times I left town. My dog Lala would randomly vomit…Oh, she just overate or ate something she had no business eating. Then, there were headaches…but I thought it was just my good ol’ high blood pressure kicking in from the ridiculous amount of bad food I was eating. I was so nauseous one night that I slept in the car with Lala. I know it wasn’t right. That was it. Something had to give.

I called my landlord and told him something wasn’t right in my apartment and that I needed to break my lease. This was around the same time that my nasal polyps looked horrible, according to my doctor. DC isn’t kind to them. So, I definitely used a medical issue as my excuse to break my lease. Yes, I got my deposit back. Anyway, it was time to say “farewell.”

I shipped Lala to my parents. I took my poor plants to a friend’s house and said R.I.P. to the ones that died. I stayed and packed. Eventually, I temporarily moved in with a friend. I put my two weeks’ notice in (totally different story), found a packing company, and counted down the days.

My dad came to help out. The hunky college movers arrived and cleared my place. But they didn’t leave without mentioning something. As one guy was about to haul the last bit of stuff down, he said, “You should tell your landlord that you have a gas leak.” Come again. CUE IN my dad: “I thought I smelled gas.” <Side eye>.  Of course, I smell NOTHING! All I was thinking was that I could’ve DIED! My carbon monoxide detector NEVER went off! Yes, it was loaded with batteries. Of course, I notified my landlord. No, I didn’t call the fire department. My landlord inspected the kitchen. The leak was coming from the stove, where I cooked home-cooked meals for me, myself, and I, every so often. Never once, did I suspect a gas leak. I could’ve died! Clearly, the Lord was not through with me but there were signs.

1. On move-in day, some wonderful kids (according to locals) decided to break into my parent’s truck while we were ON BREAK- my parents told me to find another place but I refused. OBEY YOUR PARENTS!
2. My plants were dying – I definitely watered them just enough…they were my babies.
3. Lala kept vomiting – I fed her only twice a day and the food wasn’t expired.
4. Nausea and headaches – They wouldn’t go away even when I took my Lisinopril (HBP meds) and Aleve.

I would’ve never known if I didn’t move out. This gas leak WOKE ME UP and showed just how dangerous living with Anosmia is, especially when you have an unreliable detecter (full of batteries) and no roommate(s). Succumbing to a fire or gas leak are my two biggest fears. This experience scared the crap out of me. It’s no way how I want to go out. Goodbye, to all that gas. I say, “I’m all things electric” now but there’s still fire.

I’d like to end this horrid tale with “and then she got a dog that is trained to track gas and fire and they lived happily ever after.”  This is not wishful thinking…it will come true.

Could you imagine being exposed to a gas leak and having no idea?